I’m not looking for sympathy. I’m not trying to drum up encouragement. I just think I should tell you how it is or maybe how it was. If I had typed this a day or two ago it would’ve been how it is and you would’ve maybe slightly concerned.
I was called on to be flexible one time more than I was ready to cope with and I went into quit mode. My thoughts were as follows: I want to quit being flexible for everyone else. I want to quit spending so much time in the car. I want to quit living in this house. I want to quit trying to feed my kids veggies. I want to quit blogging. I want to quit my job. I want to quit being nice when I don’t feel like it. I want to quit not being truly known by so many people. I want to quit living here….
I tried to sort out my feelings and figure out why I had snapped.
Other than the general effort of everyday life, I decided I really just want a haircut and knowing a bigger purpose for living here would be nice.
Truly, I don’t spaz like that often. That in itself is an act of God. My life isn’t horrible, but when I have the “quit moments” I see the times when I’m living content and positive are only because of God’s grace and work in my heart.
Don’t worry or try to come rescue me. I won’t quit, at least some of those things. I don’t really have an option for most of them; and after pondering, I see the consequences of quitting are worse than continuing. So I will press on.
How about you? Ever want to quit? Why don’t you? What keeps you pushing forward?