Defeated Weariness?

“If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him!” Matthew 7:11

In the last year I’ve often compared my kid’s disappointment when I don’t give them what they want with my disappointment in God’s direction for my life. The analogy might look something like Julie is to “I know you don’t want to nap, but you need to” as God is to “I know you don’t want to leave Lincoln, but it will be good for you.”

The kid’s think they know what’s good for them and their parent just likes to be mean. That also corresponds to my view of God anytime I don’t get my way. Especially when I had to move, I was pretty sure God only wanted to hold his thumb over me and show how He was in charge and not me. I often fail to comprehend or consider the He is always loving me.

After I typed that I read a very interesting thought on the goodness of God from A Praying Life by Paul Miller, “Cynicism and defeated weariness have this in common: They both question the active goodness of God on our behalf.” That was true for me. How could one not feel defeated and weary if you don’t think what God is wanting is good for you?

I struggled to really believe He was good in making me move, but somehow that’s been changing. I can’t even quantify what or how but I’m beginning to understand and trust that God’s plan for me is good. Let’s just say it’s much easier to trust Him when you believe His plan for you is good and trusting Him sure does a number on that feeling of defeated weariness.