Faith

Liza’s middle name, Faith, has special meaning for me. Clearly, my faith means a lot to me, but her middle name reminds me of specific times in the last year and a half where trusting in a gracious God has been what I desperately needed.

Pregnancy in itself lends to the need for trusting God. Will our baby be healthy? Will my leg look purple forever? Will I end up having to have a C-section? Will I be as crabby after she’s born as I am pregnant? My family was probably having anxiety over that last question too! With each of those concerns and others, I had a God who I could cast my cares to knowing He could answer. At the same time I knew I had to surrender to the possibility He may not have things go the way I wanted and if they didn’t His grace would be there to carry me.

Over a year ago, we experienced just that. Instead of having a healthy baby in March, the September before I ended up with a child I will only get to meet in heaven, a blood transfusion, minor surgery AND a testimony of God’s grace. I tell you this only because I want to share that God gave me what I needed during that time. Most importantly He gave me the grace to trust Him. That is not something I could manufacture on my own. He graciously gave me faith to rest in His promise of eternal life, trust that His plan that is better than my own, and confidence that we would have another healthy baby someday.

Liza is a baby we waited for a long time to hold in our arms. When I hear her middle name, I’m thankful for a God who answers prayer and a God who gives grace to trust when He doesn’t answer the way I want. He is faithful, gracious and good.